Who has the time for self-care activities?

I got the text. 

You know the one. 

The text that says 'you need to do this thing you forgot', 'you failed to do...', 'I need to talk to you about this problem'. etc. 

The text, call, email, or conversation that sends you into crisis mode. You can feel the shame welling up in your chest, the panic settling into your lungs, the desire to run overcoming your legs. 

And I didn't know what to do.  I didn’t know how to care for myself without spinning into crisis mode.

I mean, I knew. We all know. But in that moment, nothing seemed like the right fit. 

Do I take a spa day? <not likely, the text was about money--which lots of business owners know, is sometimes a tough thing to come by.>

Do I go for a walk? <in the winter?>

Do I journal? Nap? Take some "me time"? <WTF does that even mean?>

So here I was, with all the knowledge, all the tools, and no clue what to do next. 

At the time I felt both like a failure, and isolated.  I mean here I was–the wellness professional with all of the tools at my fingertips, feeling lost and alone.  Feeling like there was nothing I could do to help the sensations of overwhelm, loneliness, and utter and absolute failure.

What is interesting is since I had this feeling often last year, I have done a bit of research on the isolation small business owners feel in their jobs, and some of the statistics are staggering.  Incfile did a survey that stated that over 60% off small business owners struggle with anxiety, and over 50% struggle with depression.  Read their article about it here.

Yet this same article gives all the usual “to-dos” that we all know.  Get into nature, take time for yourself, meditation, etc.  What happens if you already know that and still can’t find the strength or ambition to actually do it?  I mean, with all the other things on your plate who has the time?

Well I am here to tell you, me, and everyone else one very important thing.

Nobody teaches you the skill of self-care.

Nobody.

Oddly enough self-care advice seems like a lot of advice that both business owners and new parents seem to get.  Well-meaning, staggeringly unspecific, and lacking in actual practical tools of how to make it happen.

Well, that ends today.  

This blog, in fact possibly my life’s work, is dedicated to teaching people how to actually do self-care.  

There are a lot of factors at play here, but the first, and most important, is time.  How much time have you got?

Time is the factor that most people cite as to why they don’t “take better care of themselves”.  I hear the same reasons over and over again, and maybe these are the same reasons you tell yourself whenever you are thinking about trying some self-care activities.  “I don’t have time right now”, “I need to finish <insert project>”, “I know I need to, but I have to get the kids from school”, “pick up the dog”, “do the laundry”, “answer this email”, etc.  This list could be endless.  

We never have the time.

Ironically, I have found that the moment people actually do have some time to themselves they then become paralyzed with the realization that they should be doing something for themselves.  Then they can’t quite figure out what to do.  

So let’s break this down a bit.  

How much time do you actually have?

A breath?  No shame here.  Sometimes we are in the thick of life and we just can’t get past taking one breath for ourselves.

A moment?  This comes from the phrase “can you just give me a moment?”.  This means somewhere between two and ten minutes.  Usually this means we don’t have the time to leave wherever we are at, but we need to shift our brains and our thinking.  

A break?  This is exactly what you think self-care time is supposed to be.  “I need a break”.  Think anything from 30 minutes up to a weekend.  

Once you have figured out how much time you have, then you can start thinking about what you are going to do.  

The specifics of how to make decisions with your self-care time we will get into in another blog (or you can watch a mini-webinar on it here), but for now I want you to start thinking about your self-care time in these parameters.  

Can you–finally “catch my breath”?  Can you–”take a moment to myself”?  Can you–“give myself a break”?

Breaking down self-care activities by time helps to re-frame your brain and to make decisions easier.  

So start today. Take some time for one small self-care activity.

Trust us, you deserve to take some time to care for yourself.  

And in case it needs to be said: you don’t need to earn it, and you are already worthy enough.  

See you after some rest and care time.  If you want to go further before the next blog, grab that free webinar here, and stay tuned for our Spring Awakening challenge coming soon!