Embrace Your Cozy Minimalist. Environmental Care is Self-Care.

I sat there looking at the statue.

It was a gift--sort of. It was a representation of a failed attempt at a new project, and it was given by a person who I no longer liked, respected, and who had treated me with deceit and disregard.

But I knew it was expensive. Not like Prada expensive, more like Lululemon expensive.

Should I sell it on EBay? Should I give it away to a friend whom I knew would appreciate it?

The decoration represented something sacred to some people, shouldn't I respect their feelings?  To clarify in this moment, I was thinking about the feelings of the millions of people who might be living across the globe who I don't know and have no connection to.

What if those people don't like me?

What if they find out I have gotten rid of something they might find valuable?

Will they judge me?

Welcome to the mental gymnastics of the mind of a people-pleasing person who is literally worried about what a person a million miles away who may be a total asshole thinks of me.

Can you imagine? Actually, you know what? I bet you can. 

People pleasing has an actual medical definition and is said to often be rooted in a lack of support in early-childhood relationships. It seems like something you would expect to deal with in relationships, but how could I possibly be dealing with people-pleasing in relation to what I have in my home?  And how can I stop?

I am here to tell you, that getting rid of the things that bring guilt, shame, and dis-ease is self-care. I am actively encouraging you to embrace your inner minimalist and let that sh*t go.  For you. You don’t need to create a sparse of sterile environment, but you do need to let go of some stuff for your own care and ease.  That includes your physical stuff.

Let me say more.

In our self-care strategy we subscribe to a whole concept called environmental care.  It is the idea that what is around you sets the stage for how you can care for yourself.  Now this is not at all a luxury brand idea, nor does it require anything even remotely close to a dollar investment to purchase things.  It is a pause to assess what is around you—your life, your home, your phone, your car, your work desk; and then sort out what makes you feel good, what doesn’t, and what is a necessity.  Keep the things that make you feel good and the things that are necessities—but then let go of the rest.

It is that letting go of the rest that trips us up. 

What is okay to let go of?  What should we hold onto “just in case”.

So I want to visit the idea of keeping something out of guilt or shame, like so many of us do.  It could be a gift, an expensive purchase, something that you bought and used when you were a different version of yourself.  I want to say it is okay to get rid of that thing, or things, that we have held onto because of guilt or shame.

In this case, for me, it was a statue.  A thing that was worth, monetarily, enough to make me keep it.  It was also worth my guilt for it representing a failed attempt at something, a thing that was given to me by someone who acted poorly and I “should have known better” than to interact with.

Getting rid of those items is self-care. 

Let go of the physical things that don’t represent you right now, that are gifts unused, trophies of talents long fallen by the wayside, treats and prizes that felt like a reward at the time—but now represent a mistake in finances, life decisions, or something else.  That sweatshirt that belonged to the person who meant something important to us but doesn’t anymore.

Letting go of those physical things is self-care.

Surrounding yourself with an environment that feels good to you is self-care.

Putting yourself on your list doesn’t mean you have to take yourself out of your home to a one-hour appointment and then you’ll come back a changed person.  It means that you should start with the places you spend the most time.

Get rid of the thing. Also get rid of the guilt, the shame, that thing represents. 

Pick one thing today that is in your house that you have held onto for longer than you need and holds some guilt or shame for you.  Let it go.  Put it in the bin, the recycling can, or the donation pile.  Allow your care to extend beyond what you go and do, but let it seep gloriously into everything around you.  What if you thought of everything around you as designed to support your own best self? 

Is it not in support of you? Then it has got to go, my friend.

One of our favorite books about this is Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  We suggest you read the book as much for mindset support as for “getting rid of your stuff”.  You don’t need to get rid of everything as the book suggests, just start with that statue stuck on the back of the cabinet (or book, or pair of jeans).

Want support for creating rituals at home to help you make any time a sacred self-care time?  Grab our free 10-minute mini-webinar here.