Does it really matter if you have a self-care day?

So here is a true-confession. 

Last year, as I was honing the self-care methodology I am going to be highlighting in this blog going forward, I was having the occasional weekly panic attack.

These big-burst moments of stress were directly correlated to the immense amount of pressure I was feeling as a small business owner just having made it through the hardest couple years of business we’ve had in recent history, and also knowing that there still was no end in sight.

Small business owners are often treated with this incredibly weird combination of respect and revulsion.  Are you “the man”?  Are you living “the American dream”?  While this is little-talked about in the small business owner world, I believe know that we all have stories of people treating us as objects rather than people, and with little training to prepare me for that—as well as operating within an industry that often claims to be the antithesis of depersonalizing culture that is prevalent right now, I was left feeling panicked and empty.

I needed to refuel, because I was beyond running on empty. I was depleted, and felt like every other person around me was taking more from me than I had capacity to give.

And I knew all the things I was “supposed” to do. Yet, here I was.

So let’s circle back to the beginning of the conversation.  Does it really matter if you take a self-care day (or hour)?  What does self-care even really mean?

First, it is worth mentioning that self-care is a term that was coined from the medical community decades ago.  Often times referring to older adults and their ability to fulfill and care for their basic needs.  Self-care deficit today is a term used in nursing to highlight a person’s lack of ability to care for themselves in a way that allows them to both survive and thrive.

But we have been talking about self-care as more than that for years.  Self-care is often a term that is used in marketing when we discuss purchasing items that make us feel “pampered” or “like a queen”.  So can we find a middle ground where we talk about self-care in practical terms that is a little science-y and a little bit luscious at the same time?

I think so.

Let’s quick visit to define what self-care isn’t.  This is something that becomes more and more important as time goes on and we look at the world around us with a sense of dread and unease.  Self-care isn’t a band-aid.  In spite of all the ads you have ever seen to the contrary—self-care does not exist for you to make a difficult life tolerable.  While this can be a side-effect of a skillful self-care strategy, it does not exist to seal-up the gaping flesh wound of life that is systemic oppression, bad personal circumstances, challenging childhoods or marriages, or the very real challenges of anxiety and depression. 

Can self-care strategy help with those things?  Of course.  Does it exist for them?  No.

And we need to lay down one more ground rule.  You deserve your own care and nurturing.  Full stop.  You are worthy of your own unconditional love and nurturing—and this is a fundamental cornerstone of this self-care philosophy.  You deserve your own love.  You deserve your own effort.  You are worth it.  And nothing you have ever done with change that. 

So now that we are on the same page—what aspects of life do we address with a CARE strategy?

Personal care.  This is the self-care we have been sold for years.  Personal care is how you exist and care for your body and mind.  It involves movement for the body and training for the mind.  It is how you comb your hair, care for your skin, and drink your favorite tea at just the perfect rainy-day, book-reading moment.  It is how you curate what you listen to, read, and watch.  It is your care of your physical and mental you. 

But wait…there are 4 more CARE categories we will be talking about.

Relationship Care.  This is how you interact with people around you.  Your friends, family, co-workers, casual acquaintances.  This isn’t a section dedicated to ‘how you get laid’ it is a section dedicated to ‘how you connect with others’.  Loneliness has been listed as a significant health risk by the CDC, and it would be irresponsible for us to not discuss what it means to CARE for ourselves within our relationships with others.

Environmental care.  This isn’t the activism section (that comes later).  This is how we care for our surroundings.  What around you brings you joy, makes you happy, what makes you feel like home?  How we care for our surroundings is a key part of how we are in the world—and it doesn’t matter if we have expensive surroundings or live a more modest life.  The point isn’t the stuff.  It is our relationship with the stuff.

Workplace care.  I am through-in-through a yoga practitioner at heart.  And a few years back a yoga therapist asked a room of people how we talked about spirituality in our practices, but still were able to go into hospitals and clinics.  He used the phrase “meaning and purpose”, and to me, this is the definition of workplace care.  This doesn’t mean ‘how we are at the office’, although it can, it means how we show up as a person who wishes to have a meaning and purpose in their lives. How do we care for ourselves as we pursue this meaning and purpose?  We will explore all of these things within our workplace care section.

Finally…

Community care.  This is a topic that has gained traction in recent years as we in the US have experienced great societal and political upheaval.  How do we care for our greater community?  This is said a lot, but humans are indeed social creatures.  There is a sense that we are tied to a greater community of humans out there—weather it is in our town, our demographic communities, or our workplace communities.  How do we care for our larger communities is something we will discuss on this blog as well.

 So, should you take a self-care day today?

If you need it, yes.  If you want it, probably yes.  If you just really need Instagram content, well—who are we to say?

Are you not sure how? 

Follow along on this blog and we will build you a map. 

And remember our fundamental principle.  You are worth it. 

Want the beginning of our self-care strategy? Grab our mini-webinar here.