Be Gentle With Yourself.

This summer I have a new mantra.

Something I am saying to myself constantly.

A reminder to my brain and heart to do one thing that I am not very good at.  Be gentle with yourself.  

Sometimes life is incredibly life-y.  That means that sometimes your car has an expensive problem, then another, then the joint holding your dishwasher in place snaps, and then you fight with your friend. You aren’t sure if you can repair that relationship or if you want to, and you’ve got to get yourself to a thousand places, and also it’s hot—did it always get this hot?, and maybe you hate your job, and also your cat just ate something weird and you hope that is okay but what can you do?, and so much more.

You know, life being life-y.

So, this summer I want to remind you to be gentle with yourself. 

For no other reason than because you probably don’t have that skillset yet, and when life acts up, as it tends to do, it is a great time to be gentle. To be kind.  To be the kind of friend to yourself that you desire to be for other people.

Let me tell you why.

Modern yoga espouses a lot about balance, and this is something I am constantly trying to think and re-think about.  How much of our desire to be balanced is realistic?  Can we be “in balance” all the time?

Probably not.

Life, being what it is, offers us opportunities to test our mettle against difficult circumstances to grow and shift.  Sometimes the timing of these challenges is unfortunate, and it causes us to shut down and want to hide under a heavy blanket for the rest of eternity.  But in those moments, be gentle with yourself.  Pour yourself cups of grace like you have a never-ending supply in your back pantry.  Because you do.  And you should.

But maybe you are meeting your life challenges with an “okay I’ve got this one, what is next?” kind of attitude.  In that case, be gentle with yourself.  I am proud of you for meeting life as it comes, for fixing all the problems, getting to all the places, and dealing with everything that was thrown at you.  Now, be gentle with yourself.  High-capacity mode can’t, and doesn’t, last forever.  Be gentle, kind, and nurturing towards yourself as things settle again and you get the opportunity to lie down and rest. 

Be gentle with yourself.

I feel like I should define what I mean when I say “be gentle”.  You aren’t a precious moments doll.  You don’t need to be wrapped in bubble wrap to be gentle. 

Think of that person you know who reminds you of some kind of fairie who wanders in the woods making friends with the animals, smelling the flowers, and just being kind.  It is a softness of the muscles, an ease of the face, a way of being that is more gentle than sharp.  There are fewer sharp lines and edges in this existing, and I want that for you. 

I want softness, kindness, and gentleness for you. 

This is more than ‘give yourself a break’, because that implies you are doing something akin to giving yourself a favor.  This isn’t a favor.  You deserve gentle, kind, soft, and ease.  You are worthy of rest.  And you were when you got up.  You didn’t need to earn it.

So what can you do this summer to be more gentle with yourself?

Lower expectations? Book out some time off? Book out some time truly off, not doing stuff that isn’t work, but is also work?

Be gentle with yourself.  Be kind to your mind.  Give yourself the Big Gulp of grace. 

Because life isn’t going anywhere if we are lucky.  So let’s get better at the balance of gentle and sharp before we forget what gentle feels like.